UNBELIEVABLE

wow it's a long time since i post the last post

 things has changed, even the blog dashboard style also went through a thousand change

 i can't believe that i have been back from monk monastery for months...approximately three months...but it felt like it just happened yesterday

 i still struggling in many matters



 learning in form six is no joke at all. it's like having a war, a continuous war which last for a year and a half

  unfortunately i just lost the first battle and it didn't feel right at all...not even a bit




 however now it's not time to feel sorry war is still on and i got to go on ...I HAVE TO


 next round of battle is a week ahead so let's get prepared and well-armed

 i swear on behalf of BUDDHA... no more mercy ! 

GO...

i can't believe i just mentioned the word i scared the most...

but let it be

Thanks buddies =)

i went to Fo Guang San from 11 April to 15 April for

SHORT-TERM MONASTERY RETREAT



i met great friends there like wei zhong and tony and also khai loon, khai wei's brother


i learned a lot from them and i glad that i have them to accompany me throughout the five days... Thanks buddies you guys rock !

before this i was planning to the monastery retreat as i got spare time before tertiary education and i was kind of try to find out my own path and future

i was quite uncertain about myself, people around and everything

so there i went for an answer





frankly speaking, i get myself back , it was lost somewhere but yes i managed to get it back before too late...


i learned the power of silence and peace, i was talking to another me which is deep in the corner down the way of heart.., it was been a long time since i got pissed with myself as nothing seem ok

but yet i started to learn think in another way,perspectives

soon enough i got out from my own thinking trap, after years in it



thanks buddies !

lastly i wish WEI ZHONG and TONY all the best and GOOD LUCK

男 孩( 一)

男 孩 曾 经 是 个 天 真 烂 漫 的 作 家

他 酷 爱 写 作 因 为 他 喜 欢 用 文 字 表 达 情 感

也 想 用 文 字 来 分 享 他 对 世 界 的 憧 憬 和 美 好 的 向 往

他 相 信 每 一 颗 心 都 是 美 丽 的

所 以 他 努 力 写, 不 停 地 写...




可 是 外 头 的 世 界 实 在 太 不 堪 了

人 性 的 丑 恶 毫 无 保 留 地 摆 在 男 孩 眼 前

男 孩 一 开 始 是 忍 耐, 然 后 是 无 奈, 最 后 他 放 弃 了

男 孩 不 再 信 奉 真 善 美

他 选 择 了 虚 伪, 猜 度, 陷 害 来 保 护 自 己... 他 身 不 由 己

i will be ready

life is getting weird

there are so many question marks, everywhere

my little brain try to cope up and break the codes

maybe a little hard but it won't keep me away



the people is getting strange

it's like they never speak the truth

they speak truth that wanted to be heard and it's getting on my nerves

but...there's nothing i can do because

if i fight it, it is in vain

so better for me to get used to the game...

and Manipulate the rules



the weather is getting weird

it rains and shines in a hurry and random

like it is getting out of control

well i have to sort it out before it blows me up

perhaps take a deep breathe will do



things are getting harder and harder

but i will be ready when time comes...

so here i come don't be surprise when i take you down

as it won't take long from now on

外 头 的 人

有 时 启 开 了 部 落 格 网 页, 心 里 很 想 写 片 文 章

感 觉 有 了...... 可 是 那 是 一 种 迷 茫 的 感 觉

脑 里 浮 过 很 多 的 想 法, 也 想 回 了 很 多 的 故 事

心 里 酸 酸 的, 感 触 良 多 却 就 是 打 不 出 来

或 者 有 些 东 西 还 是 自 己 最 清 楚, 很 难 用 任 何 方 式 向 外 头 的 人 讲

即 使 跟 他 们 讲, 那 味 道 也 不 会 到 位




既 然 如 此 倒 不 如 把 机 关 掉, 把 那 感 觉 带 进 梦 里

说 不 定 里 头 等 着 我 的 不 是 一 个" 外 头 的 人"......

nothing STAYs the same

when we were child we made good friends in primary school

and a forever friendship swore

we learned new stuffs, we played games and joked a lot

sweats were flying high as our mood were

we never thought of stop,yea not even crossed our minds

it just like we never got tired






but nothing can beat the TIME

it just keeps pushing and pushing, till all the laugh and tears faded away

and no traces left

a friend used to be is now just another stranger

someone we wouldn't care even life or dead

as the law of nature applied :

nothing stays the same

Grown Up

I am now eighteen, yes eighteen, YES I AM

stepped out of school now i am on my own

no friends got my back, no teachers guide my direction

it's just gone, gone......all gone

it's only me now and will be just me facing all the fate




hey boy, strengthen your heart as there's no turning back

just move on and you will get used to it, soon, very soon


hey girl, no tears please, a weak one is meant to be vanised, GAME OVER

just move on and you will get used to it, soon, very soon




the childhood was beautiful yes i know but no point missing it

it makes you vulnerable...... exposed

out there people talking about money, money and money

dream means shit and no one gonna take it serious

so just let it buried deep down the earth, hopefully never found out again



it's the price for growing up

as we grown up we pay back little by little

till we end up with nothing

Memories

in the night, i just cant close my eye

dark sky always rewind the memories of us, sweet and bitter

we used to sing together

we used to dance together

we used to laugh together




but dont know since when only complaints and quarrels left

we criticized each other

we praised sarcastically

we made each other cry, just this time

it is not tears of happiness but tears that will lead to break up

soon or later



in the night, i just cant close my eye

dark sky always rewind the memories of us, sweet and bitter

i miss our love song

i miss the step we had on the floor

i miss your smile

i miss you, baby



memories, memories, memories

it hurts but i like it

i will miss the memories we had together